Dear reader, the horde of Good morning Posts with Positivity and positive thinking you get to see on Instagram and Facebook and now on WhatsApp., with so much jibe about positivity all around you, don’t you think people must feel very positive right?
The idea is like people having so much cakes and desserts and chocolates; It makes them sweet and nice.
But you will agree this is pure stupidity, then why stuffing ourselves with positivity fluff is not.
Had the positive thinking movement worked, we wouldn’t be so miserable and you would search for a different perspective.
Heck!; You wouldn’t be here in this corner of the internet and reading this post about ramblings against overtly sugary positivity spam.
The whole thing does not work, and it harms you like those sugary delights you keep on having thinking you are having “Health Bars”. Please spare yourselves, you are just fooling yourself here.
I am no expert; to be honest, I have been the victim of this whole sham process for quite some time.
When I saw that this way of thinking is not adding any value or movement, which, if you ask me, is by far the most important thing out there, in my life.
I sat down and did a bit of thinking, and soul searching, some would say and figured out these top four reason that this whole Positivity and Positive thinking does not work
Positive thinking makes it more difficult for you to achieve your goals.
You must think I am nuts. But hold on for a second here.
Let’s imagine that you would want to lose some weight, (am taking this example because in our modern society every one wants to lose weight and unless you are an Abercrombie model type person, statistically its very probable you are also thinking the same)
And as per the Positive thinking movement, you Think how your life will be beautiful if loose those love handles, how you will fly every day to Ibiza and spend your days on the beach wearing nothing but a swim short / or Bikini (depending your choice)
But if you keep on dreaming, and never realize that you are plump and you need to take some hard decision you will never lose those handles, let alone go to some beach
Positive Assertations are like the short bursts of steroids, you need to pinch yourselves back to reality and take actions which, I am sorry to say, is never spoken in this movement.
Blaming yourselves for failure
Imagine yourself with a car on a high way, and there are few stones on this road.
Dissociate yourself from this school of thought and ask yourself, can you move this stone by thinking, how nice it would be once you reach your destination.
When times flies by and you don’t reach your destination because of the stones, you blame yourselves that your thoughts were not positive enough.
The above example might seem ludicrous but that is what we do to ourselves in this school of thought.
We blame ourselves since things did not work out because we were not positive enough!, seriously are you kidding me?
We need to feel the full range of–that’s why they are here
Do you detest bitter? But would dark chocolate be dark chocolate without its bitter liquorish taste?
If you pay for something and in the delivery you receive something else, do you require someone else’s permission to feel anger? Will suppressing that frustration solve the problem?
Pessimism is required in controlled doses for us to take an informed decision. Without acknowledging the negative sides of situation, we are only deceiving ourselves.
You End up with Unrealistic Expectations
The gurus of Positive thinking talk about big things like corporate stuff, business plans etc., let me simplify and boil it down to our mundane day-to-day activities.
If the hypothesis is strong enough, it would hold true in most of the scenario right?
Now imagine, you must go for an important 1st client briefing session or a meeting. You left house with calculated time in hand judging the distance of the office from your place and the then traffic scenario.
Once you are halfway to the office, you found out that there has been some unforeseen road block ahead, and you are stuck in the long winding traffic on the high way, i.e. no way to turn back either.
Now ask yourself, will you call the client and explain the situation or think positively and assert yourself that things would have been brilliant if you were sitting in the meeting?
This way of thought process sets up an unrealistic expectation, and when you figure out you are not on top of the world, the whole thing comes crashing down on you.
In a nutshell, I feel positive thinking puts us into dreaming place which dissociates us from reality. It only reinforces our optimistic bias.
We need to analyse situation as it comes and use our rational mind, take decision basis of logical observation and then act. And not wish that we can think it away, we are not Jedi for god’s sake.